


Moments Like This

by EponineTheStrange (gallifreyandglowclouds)



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 14:22:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 15,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallifreyandglowclouds/pseuds/EponineTheStrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things that I've written for my 30 Day OTP Challenge. All Smillan, with Arthur and his girlfriend making periodic appearances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1: Holding Hands

They’re walking together through the streets of London making their way slowly but surely towards Matt’s flat. They’d decided to actually go out for dinner once, and emerge from their cocoon instead of getting takeaway. 

It had been a long time since she’d been home with him, and had basically fled L.A. and had come back to London. She’d called him from Heathrow.

“Matt, pick me up.” 

“Karen, what are you doing in the UK?” 

“I couldn’t take being away any more. So, pick me up. I’m at Heathrow. I know you’re not filming. Come fetch me.” 

He protested but he did and that’s what mattered. As soon as she got in the car with him, it was like there was none of the silence that had existed between them for these months, that they were back to just seeing each other every day filming with each other. 

But then they decided to be classy and get dinner together, and the whole evening took on a date-like feel that Karen wasn’t fully expecting but made her smile anyways. 

So yeah. There they were, walking back down the winding streets of London, and Karen was thinking that she’d think about moving back because she didn’t have anything on tap in the U.S., and before she’d really had any time to think about what she was doing, she’d threaded her fingers through Matt’s hand, and realised the reason why she’d run, not away from Los Angeles, but to him. 

Her heart was in her throat, because there were all sorts of weird thoughts going through her mind like what if they got recognised or what if Matt ran away awkwardly, but he didn’t do anything except walk and keep his eyes completely forward. 

She loved his hands, and felt rather familiar with them because they’d spent so much time around her waist or running through her hair, and she missed them. 

They got to the entranceway of his flat and before she could even say anything he was kissing her, gentle at first but then holy moly he could kiss in a way that made her knees want to collapse and they just might have if his hands weren’t wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her close to him. 

She twined her arms in the nape of his neck, but then he gently pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. 

“I didn’t know we were at the hand-holding stage,” Matt said, grinning.

“I didn’t know we were at the make out stage,” Karen said, “but I suppose that today’s just full of surprises.” 

He twined his fingers in hers again and led her inside. 


	2. Day 2: Cuddling Somewhere

Matt thinks that Karen’s really beautiful when she’s awake, there’s no doubt about it, because her red hair and gangly limbs and everything seems to fly with her.

But there’s something about the serenity about how she looks when she’s asleep that makes something in Matt sing a little.

He’s lying there in bed with her, with her curled up against him and her mass of bright red hair resting against his chest. Their chests are rising and falling more or less in sync, and Matt thinks about how domestic it is, and how four months ago that would have bugged him but now he doesn’t mind it in the least.

He’s so incredibly happy to have her back in London with him, and she’s even been going back and forth with him to Cardiff when he’s filming Doctor Who.

He couldn’t have pictured how much better it was being able to have real, live Karen in his arms instead of having to dream about it to an empty bed.

“Matt?” she says, in a small voice.

“Yeah, Kaz,” he said, gently.

“Why aren’t you asleep? You’ve got a fourteen hour shoot tomorrow.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Matt said, then planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“How come?”

“I just like watching you sleep,” he said, and chuckled to himself. “Sorry if I’m creepy.”

“I’m starting a reality show,” Karen said, rolling on her back to look up at him, “it’s going to be called _I’m Dating a Serial Killer._ It’ll be a hit.”

“No you aren’t.”

“’m actually flattered, in a weird sort of way,” she said. There was an odd beat of silence.

“I love you,” Matt said, and then, noticing how the moon came in from their window and splashed across her face, “Moonface Kaz.”

“I love you too,” she said, “but don’t push it.” She leaned back in towards him for a gentle kiss.

When they both fell back asleep, they still had their arms around each other. 


	3. Day 3: Gaming/Watching a Movie

“Fuck.” Karen said, leaning back against the arm of the couch. “I literally cannot stand being sick.” She flailed about for the Kleenex box that sat on the table behind her, successfully acquired a tissue, and blew her nose.

“Poor Kaz,” Matt said. “Yuck. That is so gross,” he said as she threw her tissue at the wastebasket. (It landed on the floor instead.)

“You are not allowed to call me gross,” Karen said, looking up at him. “I’m your girlfriend now.”

“Yeah,” said Matt, smiling as he sat down on the couch and she leaned up against him. “Six months in, I guess it’s time for labels.”

“Who in god’s name gets a cold in the middle of June?”

“You, apparently.”

She nestled himself between his legs and rested against his chest. “I’m about to make you deathly ill. I apologise in advance.”

“I don’t mind,” Matt said.

“What movie did you put on?”

“Date Night,” Matt said. “A little rom-com, a little action, all wonderful.”

“Perfect,” Karen said. “Mindless entertainment.”

She was absolutely passed out in about fifteen minutes, which Matt attributed to the crazy-ass cold medication she’d brought back with her from the States. Apparently all over-the-counter medication in the US was much stronger than in the UK.

He stayed up and watched the movie, but about five minutes from the end, he gently disentangled himself from Karen and went to the kitchen to make them both some tea.

“Matt!” she groaned from the living room. “Fetch me more Kleenex!”

“As you wish, my lady,” he said, “and I also come with some tea.” He made his way out to the living room with a tray with tea and tissues.

“How was the movie?” she said, groggily.

“Wonderful,” he said, “save for the odd bit of snoring by the soulless ginger in my lap.”

“You’re just too funny,” she said, drolly. “After that weird magic movie you should try and audition for some comedies.”

“I’ve considered it, Kaz,” he said, placing the tray on the coffee table. “Think you can stay awake for _The Avengers_?”

“Challenge accepted,” Karen said. 


	4. Day 4: On a Date

Karen wasn’t really good at dates. She tended to get nervous, and then she tended to get drunk, and things went disastrously from there. She and Matt hadn’t actually been on that many dates, and what passed for a romantic evening from them usually consisted of having takeout and candles and smooching.

But Matt had been generally interested in taking her out for some kind of a proper date, and she’d finally given in.

She gently poked the diamond studs that he’d given her for their six-month anniversary in to her ears, put the final touches on her makeup, and made her way out to the foyer.

He was wearing one of the dress shirts she’d bought for him and a sport coat, only because she’d prohibitively vetoed a bowtie. He turned to face her and his eyes scanned her body and she suddenly felt very conscious of her little black dress.

“You look stunning,” he said, stepping towards her and pulling her in for a remarkably passionate kiss. “You’re making it very hard for me to resist pulling that dress off of you and ditching our dinner reservations.”

She leaned in to his ear and said, “I’m not totally opposed to that idea, but I like the idea of making you squirm a little bit.” She kissed his jaw and stepped back from him. “Looks like our cab’s here.”

She walked out the door, and smiled when she heard him groan audibly from behind her.

Trust Matt to have picked the most stereotypically perfect restaurant for a date. It was an Italian place – a variation on the theme of Thai, Indian, or Chinese – that was literally a hole in the wall. There was no glimmer of recognition in the hostesses’ eyes, which made Karen far more hopeful that they’d get through dinner without being pressed for autographs. They were shown to a table in a romantically low-lit corner of the restaurant.

“Nice ambiance,” she said, as they sat down.  “I’ll be lucky if I can read the menu.”

He produced a flashlight in the shape of a sonic screwdriver and she almost fell off of her chair laughing.

“Once a Doctor, always a Doctor,” Matt said in explanation.

* * *

Karen didn’t get drunk. Okay, maybe she was a little drunk, but at least Matt was drunk too so it wasn’t awkward drunkenness, and instead of feeling weird about being out, she felt… elated. Whole. Words she’d only thought about in relation to her relationship with Matt.

He he. Alliteration time.

At least the amount of wine that she’d had would have mitigated by the massive plate of pasta that she ate. Well, Matt had more than a few bites.

She could see something different in his eyes as the meal went on, something changing in his gaze that made her feel tingly. Even in the dim light she could see that his eyes were darkening and that his looks were becoming more and more intense. She wasn’t necessarily making it easier on him as she had been playing footsie with him all night and as their dessert arrived, she gently rested her hand on his knee.

“Good night?” he asked, smiling.

“The best,” she said. “We ought to do this more.”

“And you have a problem with takeout?”

“Something different,” Karen said. “Always nice to shake things up.” She ran her hand a little further up his leg.

He made a somewhat inhuman, but quiet noise.

“Perhaps we should skip dessert,” she said, smiling a little bit wickedly.

“I was hoping that you’d be my dessert,” Matt said, leaning across the table to kiss Karen.

“You’re not skipping that,” she said after they pulled away. “Come one, get the cheque.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said, and flagged down the waiter.

Literally, as soon as the door was closed and they were back at Matt’s flat he kissed her and took that opportunity to take off that little black dress, which would stay in the front hall until late in to the afternoon the next day.

(The zipper was a little bit broken, but she took a few buttons off of his dress shirt so they were about even.) 


	5. Day 5: Kissing

Karen really liked the rain, which is sort of a natural state to be in for a Scot, or anyone who made the British Isles their home. However, she still enjoyed tempting fate and not bringing her umbrella places. It hadn’t been a problem since she’d come back to London in January, mostly because she could rely on Matt to have his with him and they could have umbrella-snuggly time.

It was Matt’s first weekend home from filming in Cardiff, and one of the first that she hadn’t gone with him, because she’d actually been cast in a series and now had things to do with her life that didn’t involve being co-dependent and snuggly with Matt.

They were walking home from Charing Cross, which was dumb because it was a long walk to his place, and there were grey clouds massing in the skies above them, but Karen realised that if she let grey skies stop her doing things she wouldn’t have spent much time outside as a child.

They were still about fifteen minutes from his flat when the drops started to come.

“You’ve got your umbrella, right?” Karen asked, looking Matt’s way.

“Shit,” he said, “I left it in Cardiff. Do you have yours?”

“Do I ever have mine?”

“Right,” Matt said, “remind me to chastise you when we get home.”

“Rats,” Karen said, “I thought we’d have other plans.”

Then the rain really started picking up, and picked up to the point that it was no longer possible to walk and they both ran to the nearest shop awning, which was a small diner with several patrons inside, all looking out the window with some interest.

“I don’t think it will last long,” Matt said. “Whenever it gets so bad that you can’t see the other side of the street, it never lasts long.”

“Right.”

Matt turned to her and smiled. “I miss you when you’re gone.”

“Excuse me. You were the one who left. I’m still in your big old empty flat.”

“Not my fault that you get to shoot in London.”      

He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her close to him. “Love you, Kaz.”

She looked up at Matt and smiled, and then he leaned in and kissed her.

The elements of the kiss – Matt’s fingers entangled in her hair, her hands stroking the cold water on his cheek, and the way that they both shivered when their lips met – weren’t all that different from every other kiss that they’d shared in the nine months they’d been together. But something felt more intense, more passionate – sort of like the first time that they’d kissed when she came back from LA, and Karen realised that, as much as she’d hated being separated from him, it just made her love him even more.

_Absence makes the heart grow fonder._

He dipped her back a little bit, and he probably hadn’t intended to break the kiss but she squealed and laughed a little and then he brought her back up, and the way that his eyes glimmered and he beamed made her heart sing.

“I miss you when you’re gone too,” Karen said, barely above a whisper, but her heart was in her throat and she was barely able to speak. “I love you so much.”

He kissed her on the forehead, and then turned and looked out across the street. “The rain’s gone,” he said. “Let’s head home.”

“Yeah,” she said, and twined her hand with his, and rested her head on his shoulder as they walked away.

The people in the restaurant behind them were applauding.


	6. Day 6: Wearing Each others' clothes

“Matt!” Karen looked at the television in shock.

“What?” he yelled from the kitchen. “I’m making you salad. Give me a second.”

“No. Come in here, now.”           

“Fine,” Matt said, and made his way out of the kitchen to the living room. “What is going on?”

“Your socks,” Karen said, gesticulating to his ankles on the TV screen. (Yes, they watched _Dr. Who_ together, more for her sake than his, and she’d gotten much, much better about not compulsively comparing the episodes with Matt and Jenna to her own.) “Those are not your socks.”

“What do you mean those are not my socks?” Matt said.

“What do you think I mean?” Karen said. “I am presently wearing these socks that you are also wearing in this episode. They are not yours. They are mine. You stole them from me.” She stuck her foot in his face for emphasis.

“I would never wear your socks,” Matt says. “They can’t be yours.”

“Matthew Smith. You are wearing grey socks with little pink and yellow flowers on them.”

“God, you’re right,” Matt said.

There was a pause, and then Matt rather observantly pointed out, “You’re wearing my jumper right now.”

“Not the same thing,” Karen said. “The wearing of the boyfriend’s jumpers is an established girlfriend tradition. You wearing my socks is not normal.”

“Must have gotten mixed up in the laundry.”

“I still haven’t heard an apology!” Karen yelled as she balled up her socks and threw them at Matt as he made his way back into the kitchen.

“I am sorry for wearing your socks,” he said, bringing them plates of salad from the kitchen. “Now shut up and eat your damn salad.”

(In the end, Karen ends up keeping the jumper, but Matt gets the socks, and they make one or two more appearances during his time on _Who_. When they recount the whole story to Arthur a couple years later, he rolls his eyes and calls them both idiots.)

(He’s not wrong.)


	7. Day 7: Cosplaying

“I feel slightly ridiculous,” Karen said from under her felt Dalek costume. “Scratch that, I feel utterly ridiculous. Why are we doing this again?”

“Because,” Matt said, popping the head off of his Cyberman costume, “we are going to actually experience Worldcon as fans, and we will not get mobbed. And then it’ll be really cool when I actually have to do the panel tomorrow, I can laugh quietly to myself when I see all the fans and think _I have been among you, and you will never know._ ”

“You seem very excited about that.”

“I am! Now let’s go frighten our landlady.”

They didn’t frighten their landlady, who was very used to their antics at this stage, but a few people on the street did freak out a bit, and what were they expecting marching about London in the costumes of the two most iconic _Dr. Who_ villains. At least as they got closer and closer to the venue for the convention, they could blend in with everyone else in their crazy costumes.

Karen had initially resisted going, but as Matt pulled her more and more into the convention, she really didn’t understand why she’d put up such a fuss when he’d shown up with the two costumes. It was nice to see everyone so dedicated all of their various things, and so well-costumed.

People kept on commenting on how authentic their costumes looked, and Matt was incredibly gracious and didn’t say anything about how he’d stolen his from on set (Karen’s, he’d just ordered off the internet).

Things were all going really, really well, until somehow (Karen thinks the eyestalk on her Dalek costume might have had something to do with it) the head of Matt’s costume came flying off.

And in that moment, all hell broke loose. Karen didn’t know what to do, and there was this sense of _please don’t let this be our first public appearance_ so she just up and ran away.

She didn’t hear from Matt for fifteen minutes, until she got a very terse text from him:

            _Where r u_

Well, he probably did have all the right in the world to be angry with her after she’d let him be devoured by fangirls, and that now would probably be a really good time for them to go home.

            _Sitting by a tree appropriately far from the entrance. U ok?_

_Alive. Barely. No thanks to you._

Oh dear.

When he emerged from the convention, re-dressed as a Cyberman, she could feel him glaring at her from beneath his costume.

“Home?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Karen said, and then realised she couldn’t really hug him in her costume so she just leaned against him. “Everything was really going swimmingly until then.” 

“It was,” Matt said. “You know, we should do this again sometime. Also, everyone kept on asking me about the identity of my mysterious Dalek friend.”

“And what did you say?”

“What mysterious Dalek friend?”

They both cracked up.                              


	8. Day 8: Shopping

So, they’d gone public.

Matt figured that it was inevitable, but that didn’t mean that he was terrifically happy about it. After the incident at Worldcon that had sent Karen sprinting away from him in a Dalek costume, they figured, hey, they had been _together_ together for about a year and it was probably about time.  And then one day, they had gone to the grocery store, and ended up sharing a rather chaste kiss in the frozen foods aisle, but some idiot with a camera phone snapped a photo of them and the next thing they knew, it was splashed all over every website and every magazine.

It made doing things in public together rather difficult. And so, they decided to go incognito. Hats, large obnoxious sunglasses – the works. And all because they had to get Karen a dress for Arthur and Sophie’s wedding.

He could tell that it was taking a toll on Kaz, because all of a sudden this little, private thing that they’d kept between them for more than a year was suddenly public and out there, and suddenly everyone thought that  it was their right to ask her anything about… private stuff that happened between the two of them.

She emerged from the bathroom and he could barely recognise her. She had on (his) massive aviators, and her trademark red hair was tied back and mostly under a beanie hat.

“Hey gorgeous,” he said, “ready to go face the raging masses?”

“As ready as ever,” she said. “Let’s do it.”

They made their way out of their flat. “Where are we going?”

“Harrods,” Karen said, “I think I’ll probably have the best luck there.”

Matt nodded. As they walked out of their block of flats he enmeshed his fingers with hers.

“Are we trying to not be obvious?” she asked, eyes focussed ahead.

“People know, Kaz,” Matt said. “I might as well enjoy a day out with my girlfriend, and as long as we keep it g-rated the paps can’t do that much.”

She smiled. Matt counted it as a victory.

People might have pointed a bit as they made their way through London, but Matt didn’t notice any camera flashes, so all good there. They made their way up to ladies formalwear when they got to Harrods, and Matt assumed his role as designated stuff-carrier as Karen set about choosing dresses to try on.

Then he assumed his other typical role when they went dress shopping, that of dress zipper and judger. He settled into a chair close to the fitting room where she was trying on dresses and got ready to zip.

“You are literally the worst at this, Matthew,” she said as he quite accidentally zipped a little bit of her skin while doing up her zipper.

“Would you rather do this yourself?”

“Point taken.”

“I don’t think orange is your colour,” he said as she modelled an orange silk cocktail dress for him. “Unless, that is, you’re going for the monochrome look.”

She threw a hanger at him for that one.                           

Of course, it’s literally the last dress that she tries on that’s the winner, a stunning deep purple number. Matt knows the minute he’s done zipping it that he will strongly advocate for this particular one. (He’ll likely lose.)

“Well, what do you think about this one?” Karen asked as she twirled in front of the mirror.

“I think,” he said, joining her for a mock waltz in front of the mirror, “that I would be honoured to dance with you in that dress at Arthur and Sophie’s wedding.”

“You would, huh?”

“Absolutely.”

“I think I’ll take this one then.”

She was looking up at him with such bright eyes, so he kissed her, which was technically a violation of the rules they’d set out for being in public, but there was no one else there and she sure wasn’t complaining.

“You’re going to pay for that later,” she said.

“Am I?”

“By doing the washing-up from lunch. Now let’s get home.” 


	9. Day 9: Hanging out with friends

“Monopoly next?” Matt said as he packed up the Trivial Pursuit.

“I feel about ten, sitting on the floor and playing games like this,” Sophie said. “It’s weird, but it’s nice.”

“You haven’t been firmly inducted in to the tradition,” Arthur said. “I think we spent more time doing this than filming when we were all working together.”

“Wow, I didn’t know Cardiff was that boring,” Sophie said.

Karen and Matt both laughed as he put out the Monopoly board.

“We have Doctor Who Monopoly if anyone would prefer,” Karen said, and after resounding silence, she continued, “Good. I was expecting that.”

“It gets a bit less fun when it’s your daily reality,” Matt said, sitting back down.

Sophie beat them all at Monopoly, Matt won Scrabble (“you damn English literature student,” Karen said as he triumphantly made the word quixotic on a triple word score) and Arthur just squeaked past Karen on Cluedo.

And, as was often the case when it was just Arthur, Matt, and Karen, they gave up on playing games and just lay on the floor and stared up at the ceiling.

“I really like your ceiling fan,” Sophie said to Karen. “Where’d you guys get it?”

“That pre-dates me,” Karen said. “Matt?”

“I think that this whole flat pre-dates all of us,” Matt replied. “But thanks, I’m sure that the ceiling fan appreciates your flattery.”

“Are you high?” Karen said

“No. Just philosophical.”

“About ceiling fans?” Arthur said. “Well, I suppose that nothing has changed.”

“Whatever, Mr. Grown-up,” Matt said. “I’m perfectly happy to go on flattering my ceiling fan while you go off and marry your girlfriend.”

Arthur laughed somewhat uncomfortably.

 “Do you think you guys will ever tie the knot?” Sophie said.

“Ummm…” Karen said, “I don’t know how to answer that.”

“I hope so,” Matt said. “Maybe someday.”

There was an awkward gulf of silence.

“Anyone want to play Bananagrams?” Sophie said, and they all sat up, straightened themselves up, and went back to playing games.


	10. Day 10: With Animal Ears

“Oh my god,” Matt said, lying back on to the pillows with his hands behind his head, “don’t take this the wrong way, but you really need to take those off.”

“What is your issue with the bunny ears?” Karen said, and then hopped around the room in a bunny-like fashion. The ears tipped as she moved and eventually fell right off her head.

“I don’t like the idea of bringing cute, fluffy animals into our sex life,” Matt said. “That is too weird.”

“Weirder than that time you forgot to take your bowtie off?”

“We don’t talk about that, Karen,” Matt said, he says, shaking his head. “I just remember how horrified you were afterwards. Although, based on the fact that you kind of jumped me and didn’t leave me a lot of opportunity to get all the clothing off, I think it’s partly your fault.”

“Okay, these two situations are not analogous in the least,” Karen said, pointing at Matt accusationally. “I always thought that you were a Playboy fan. Thus, the bunny ears. I don’t have a weird bowtie fetish.”

Matt pulled a face. “I don’t think they’ll stay on, Kaz. I mean, they took a plunge just with some rather half-hearted hopping.”

“Fine,” Karen said, and flung the ears in the general direction of wardrobe. 


	11. Day 11: Wearing Kirugurumis

“I literally cannot believe we are doing this,” Karen said, and then pulled the hood back on her penguin costume so that her vision was not obscured.

“I will never bet on anything with Jenna ever again,” said Matt, and then Karen had the hilarious realisation that she actually didn’t have it quite as bad as Matt who was in a Pikachu costume with antler-things that didn’t quite stand up.

“It’s too bad that they didn’t have a badger costume,” Karen said, smiling in spite of the situation, “it might have suited you better.”

“If we weren’t at the birthday party of the son of the producer of my show, I would say a rude word to you that starts with F.”

“It’s like cosplaying, I guess,” Karen said, “but with small-ish children.”

“Time to go back to the party?” Matt asked. Karen nodded hesitantly, and he lead her back in to the living room where several sugar obsessed nine-year olds were playing.

One of them proceeded to tackle Matt to the ground in an attempt to ‘catch’ and ‘tame’ him, and several others joined shortly after.

 _This is going to go down in the history of long days,_ Karen though. 


	12. Day 12: Making Out

He was making salad (which, Matt thought, he seemed to spend a lot of time doing) when she snuck up behind him and gently pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. His first though was, _why in god’s name are you doing this to me when I’m making salad I will cut one of my fingers off and this night will end up in A and E_ and then _nope, I like this, screw making salad._

He turned around to face Karen and kissed her first on the nose, then on each cheek, and then finally on the lips and swallowed her moan when he ran his tongue across the roof of her mouth.

He pushed her back against the counter on the other side of the kitchen, and boxed her in against the kitchen counter on the opposite side of the room.  He pressed kisses down her jaw, eliciting a groan from her, and then moaned when he bit hard on her neck, hard enough to leave a bruise.  (He hopes he does.)

Her hands moved down around his waist, and were untucking his shirt, and he went back to kissing her just as she slipped her hands under his shirt. Her fingernails dug into his sides when he ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth, which made him moan.

At some point he’d managed to work one of his legs between hers, which was excellent because it meant that she was making all these little breathy sounds, and then he dipped his head down because he had to kiss the wonderful ivory skin around her collarbone, and suddenly her hands were on his ass and _yup, that was going to leave a mark_.

Karen winced after that, so he kissed her gently on the forehead, and whispered, “I’m sorry about that.”

“’S fine, Matt,” she breathed, and he looked at her and her cheeks were red and her eyes were dark, and there was a flush spreading down her neck, and it was in this moment of stillness that Matt realised two things – one, that he was insanely and ridiculously turned on, and that it would probably be unwise for him to back to cutting things because his hands were literally trembling, and two, she looked absolutely beautiful in that moment.

He kissed her again then, sweetly and passionately, but without the rushed heat of the last few minutes.

“Ummm…” Matt said, because his brain wasn’t anywhere remotely close to working, “I probably only need a few more minutes to finish up that salad, and then we can eat.”

“No,” Karen said, shaking her head. “I don’t want that.”                                      

“Oh?” Matt said, a bit confused. “Then what do you want?”

“You,” she said, looking up at him and nodding, “I would like you.”

“Oh. I think that the kitchen’s probably not the best place to go about doing that.”

“Lead on, Mr. Smith,” she said, and he guided her out of the kitchen

Salad was stupid anyways. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is dedicated to Jannetta’s, which probably has the greatest ice cream in all of Scotland. I don’t think I’ve eaten ice cream anywhere else in Scotland, but that doesn’t matter for these purposes. Also this one’s a bit of a love story to St. Andrews, which is a small town in Scotland famous for golf and the university where the current Duke and Duchess of Cambridge met and went to school.

Karen didn’t know why exactly Matt thought that driving from London to Inverness would have been a good idea, because it was a _nine hour drive_ and they were so disorganised leaving London that they had to stop in St. Andrews, a small town on the North Sea, and find some accommodation because driving through the night was not a good idea.

They managed to find a place to sleep at a small B and B not far from the Old Course, and parked not too far from the famous bridge. The town wasn’t big, so they wandered around on the three streets with actual retail, and laughed at the students trying to acquire cheap alcohol at Tescos.

“Makes you think back to your own student days, eh?” Matt said with a smile.

“I generally try not to,” Karen said.

Then, they walked past an ice cream shop. Matt being Matt, they had to stop, no mind that the wind made it feel about five degrees colder than it actually was. (And this is Scotland. It was not generally warm.)

“But Kaz, it says that it’s world famous!”

“Fine!”

So they stood in line with everyone else, and Matt got his sticky toffee pudding cone and she her tablet ice cream in a cup, and made their way down the street to the large cathedral ruins that dominated the east end of town.

“Can you imagine what that would’ve looked like as an actual church?” Karen said.

“It would have been spectacular,” Matt said. “Imagine getting married in there.”

Karen raised her eyebrows and pretended not to hear him. That was the second or third time that he’d casually dropped the subject of marriage in to a conversation this week.

She wasn’t diametrically opposed to it, but she was waiting for him to ask. She wasn’t particularly traditional, but on this occasion, she would defer.

“Do you want to go down to the pier?” Matt said, and before Karen could say anything either way, he was dragging her down the big steep hill and across the bumpy stones of the top of the pier.

“Matt, seriously, stop,” she said, “you’re going to drop your ice cream, and we’re a good 15 meters and one narrow walkway away from imminent drowning in the North Sea.”

“Kaz, we’ll be fine,” Matt said, but slowed his pace and led her slowly to the end, one hand holding hers and the other on his ice cream.

They got to the end of the pier, and Karen gripped the railing tight as she looked across the sea.

“You know,” Matt said, “if you angle yourself right, it looks like it’s the end of the universe out there. Makes you feel kind of small.”

He was right – it looked like the sea stretched out infinitely in front of them, and then dropped off the edge.

“Turn around,” he said, “I’m taking a picture of you.”

Karen unsteadily leaned against the railing and tried her best to stop the wind from messing up her hair and not die at the same time.

But then an aggressive seagull came flying down behind Matt, and though she screamed, it snatched his ice cream cone just as the camera flash snapped.  

Then she couldn’t stop laughing. Nor could he, because the picture of her was just too funny, and the loss of ice cream was nothing compared to a funny picture.

(She insisted he delete it when she saw it later. He never does.) 


	14. Day 14: Genderswapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. So, I’ve decided to set this in Toronto because CANADA. Also, university AU.

Second year university wasn’t going to be so bad. 

Up until the middle of August, Kieran was anxiously Skyping with her friends, worried that she’d be homeless, because she had forgotten to apply to residence and suddenly realised that she’d be snoozing on the streets of Toronto if she couldn’t join up with a house. But suddenly, Jenna (as Jenna frequently did, because she was ridiculously organised about everything ever and Kieran really didn’t know what she would do without her) managed to sacrifice appropriately to the gods of Toronto student real estate and find them a six-person house. Jenna, her boyfriend Richard, and their mutual friends David and Rose would all get to live in the Annex and do wonderful things that weren’t always allowed in residence.

“But,” Kieran said, a little confused, “that’s five people. Who’s number six?”

“Well, David’s got this friend, Madeleine,” Jenna sad, her voice crackling a little over Skype, “second year, English literature student, from Philadelphia. So you won’t be the only non-Torontonian there.”

“Have you met her?”

“Yeah, at a party last year. Nice girl. Quiet. Tall, but clumsy. She had a bit too much to drink one night and knocked over Arthur’s stupid giraffe statue, remember?”

“Oh,” Kieran said, “I remember her. No fancy pottery then.”

* * *

 

Kieran got to Toronto, and fortunately Jenna and Richard were there to pick her up at the airport and save her from getting a ridiculously expensive taxi ride. Jenna, always appropriately perky, chattered all the way back downtown about the ridiculous internship her dad had set up for her at his law office. Kieran smiled at her and nodded at what he hoped were the appropriate points but mostly enjoyed the late August sunshine and tried not to pass out from jetlag.

They pulled up to their new house, which Kieran had only seen from pictures, and it was oddly more wonderful in real nice. He was amazed that this nice of a place would get rented to students, but Jenna just winked and he never asked. He hugged David and Rose, and got the coles notes on their summer, before peeking over David’s shoulder and noticing the tall brunette sitting in their living room, watching all this happen, he stepped past David and extended his hand to her.

“Hey, I’m Kieran,” she said.

“Maddie,” she replied, and Kieran didn’t remember her being pretty. Which wasn’t a bad thing. But she had lovely blue eyes, and Kieran could feel himself smiling stupidly so he nodded and grabbed his suitcase and made his way upstairs to his room.

Later that evening they made hamburgers and sat in the negligible backyard to eat. Kieran caught himself staring a bit at Maddie, and then got a bit embarrassed.

Later, he caught her staring back.

This would be an exciting year. 


	15. Day 15: In a Different Clothing Style

“You are no longer Moonface Kaz,” Matt said, “you are now Cupcake Kaz.”

“It is not my fault,” Karen said, “that you get to dress up in tails and I have a silly pink dress. Nor did I ask Sophie to make the engagement party this theme.”

“You helped plan it.”

“Whatever,” Karen said, and picked up the parasol that matched the navy and white A-line dress that she was wearing. “It’s not bad, really. Maybe a few more bows than I would wear if I had my druthers, but it’s not bad. Also, I find it somewhat ridiculous that you can get away with just wearing tuxedo. Seriously.”

Matt opened the door. “After you, milady. Our carriage awaits.”

“Shut up, or I will make you wear this cupcake dress.” 


	16. Day 16: During Their Morning Rituals

Matt had been full of nervous energy for the past couple of weeks, so much so that it even extended to his sleep, where he’d toss and turn through the night. Eventually, Karen would wake up, far earlier than she normally would or even had to, throw on some sweatpants, and make coffee and breakfast (read: some kind of condiment on toast) for her and Matt.

It was because he was leaving _Who,_ because he’d been getting more and more offers to do movies in the UK and in America, and he just couldn’t juggle them, so it was time for a new Doctor. (Richard Armitage, but they were keeping that secret so under wraps that no one even knew that Matt was going to leave the show.)

It suddenly dawned on Karen why he had been so jumpy this weekend home, because this would be the famous week where he’d go to Cardiff and film his regeneration episode. His trailer and the small flat he rented there were cleaned out – she’d helped him cart all that stuff back to his flat a couple of weeks ago, and Charlie the badger had gone from hanging in his trailer to owning a spot of honour on their mantelpiece. She heard him stumble around from where she sat in their living/dining room, pulling clothes together, and heard him stub his toe on her dresser, because it was the only thing he ever stubbed his toe on in their bedroom. He came out in full Doctor apparel – bowtie, braces, the whole nine yards.

She didn’t say anything to him as she passed him coffee (relatively fresh) and his two pieces of toast with Nutella and strawberry jam (his favourite) and she started on hers with lemon curd. He was fidgety and distracted, and tried to get up from the table without having said a word to her or finishing his Nutella toast (which, in her opinion, would have been a tragedy among tragedies).

“Hey,” she said, resting her hand on his as he tried to get up from the table, “your train isn’t for another four hours. Just sit for a while. Hang out. Eat your toast. If you’re nice to me, I’ll pour you some juice.”

He exhaled a little, and slumped down in his chair. “I can’t believe it’s over.”

“I know that feeling.”

“It’s just weird, you know? I feel like there’s none of the old gang left. The show’s had a whole facelift since 2010, and something feels… wrong.”

“You know this is the right choice, though,” she said, “because you’re ready to go other places and do other things. You saw how much of a wreck I was when we wrapped, Matt. So… after this week, come back here and just chill for a while, watch some terrible television and eat some terrible food. I’m pretty sure you’ve shaved four years off your life with all this anxiety over the past few weeks.”

He nodded, and she could see the bags under his eyes, and then suggested, “Why don’t we go finish breakfast on the couch?”

“Yeah,” he said, and they grabbed their plates and mugs and went and sat and watched the early morning news on BBC, and then Matt lay back on the couch and she settled herself between his legs and lay back with her head on his chest.

“I’m going to miss you making breakfast for me,” he whispered in her ear.

“That may keep happening,” Karen said. “I might even make you haggis one of these days.”

He pulled a face at that, but she’d fed it to him covertly once and he’d liked it, so score one for traditional Scottish delicacies. She sensed that he was drifting off, and when he forced himself to wake back up, she said, “I’ll set my alarm on my phone so that you don’t miss your train.”

She waited up until he fell asleep, peacefully, and then let herself go to sleep.

When they woke up to the wonderfully shrill sound of her phone alarm, he fumbled around for his suitcase and then they walked to the train station together.

They embraced before he got on the train, a long hug where she just let herself melt into him, and quietly relished the fact that he hopefully wouldn’t be going away again for a long time. She waved to him as he got on the train, and then slowly made her way back home through the London crowds.

 

 

 

 


	17. Day 17: Spooning

She stared out over the forest that was her backyard, bathed in moonlight, which was a sight that she’d always thought extremely beautiful and ethereal.

She just wished she wasn’t seeing it under these circumstances.

Her mother, her kind, wonderful, cheerful mother, had experienced a massive heart attack while shopping in Tesco, and it was probably by the grace of some Samaritans of the best kind that she was still alive. She was still, however, in the hospital, and when last she’d been there, taking over after the vigil so that her father could get some food, they weren’t sure whether she’d last the night.

Her dad was still at the hospital, and Karen sort of wished that she was too, because she had no idea how to deal with this. Both of her grandparents died when she was too young to remember sitting at the hospital, waiting for news.

She’d never really lost anyone before, and now, as she faced the possibility of losing her mother, she wasn’t sure how to cope.

She sensed Matt before she saw him, leaning against her doorframe in the ridiculous flying pig boxers that she had bought him as a joke but he still slept in fairly frequently. Her dad had quite purposely placed them in separate rooms, because he apparently still wasn’t quite on board with the fact that his twenty-seven year old daughter had a very serious boyfriend.

But Matt, Matt had been the saviour of the past few days, calmly helping Karen pack and get the car together as she freaked out on the phone to her dad. He did sandwich and coffee runs, making friends with the cashiers at the Costa in the hospital in Inverness, and quietly asking everyone what they needed, and what he could do to help.

He was her rock.

He came and sat down beside her, and without saying anything (because she’d been paralysed and barely able to speak for the past few hours) just wrapped his arms around her, and for the first time in the past two days, she felt safe, and then she started to cry, big, awkward, shaking sobs that rattled her whole body. Matt just sat there and hugged her tighter to him, because at this stage he knew all the little pieces she could shatter in to when she was sad, and the exact way to put them all back together. His hand rubbed gentle circles on the small of her back and he rocked her back and forth gently. He didn’t say anything – he didn’t need to. He just pressed her in to the warmth of his chest and let her feel everything she needed to feel.

Once Karen had calmed down a little, he pressed a kiss just above her ear, and whispered, “She’s going to be okay.”

Karen didn’t share Matt’s certainty, but it still calmed her down a little bit. “Okay.”

“Time for some sleep?”

She nodded, and curled up on her side, and he spooned against her, because it was probably the only conceivable way they could share her twin bed.  They fit together like two puzzle pieces, and even though Matt was literally only two centimetres taller than she, it made her feel protected, and all the skin-to-skin contact, because Matt rested his hand on the spot where her camisole hitched up a little to reveal just a sliver of skin, and she could feel his chest pressing against her back (and something she’d never been able to understand about Matt was why he was so warm all the time, but in this case, it was awesome).

She knew he wouldn’t go anywhere, he’d stay until her dad came back from the hospital and would give Matt a shifty gaze but would let them be. He wouldn’t move, he would just lie there until she woke up, and would freak out because it was ten o’clock and he hadn’t woken her, but he would be his calm self and help her get out the door and to the hospital, and at some point she would remember to tell him, “I love you,” and he’d smile and kiss her gently and say, “I know.”

 


	18. Day 18: Doing Something Together

“I can’t believe,” Matt said, as they sat together on the side of the pool with their feet in their water, “that you signed on for a series that you knew would involve swimming.”

“It will be fun!” Karen said indignantly. “Except for the swimming part. That’s where you come in. You’re going to help me not die in the water.”

“Fine,” said Matt, and he slipped in, and when he realised that Karen didn’t follow him, he turned around and said, “That’d be your cue to get in here now.”

“But it’s deep!”

“The water here would barely reach your waist. Nothing bad is going to happen.” He grabbed both of her hands and pulled her in to the water. She frowned at him; he ignored it and helped her put her goggles on.

“Okay, step one is going to be floating,” Matt said, “and I will help you, and you will not drown.”

Karen gave him a look that indicated that she wasn’t so sure about that.

In the half-hour that followed, Matt managed to get Karen doing starfish floats on her front (but she kept on folding in half when she tried to float on her back).

“I can swim!” Karen said.

“Hardly,” Matt replied, but she splashed him. “Next week,” he said, “we’ll start actually moving in the water.”

“Fantastic,” Karen said. “Just fantastic.” 


	19. Day 19: In Formal Wear

Karen finally got to wear that wonderful navy dress that she’d gone to buy with Matt, because today was Arthur and Sophie’s wedding, and she was pretty excited about that.

She put the final touches on her hair, clasped the necklace that Matt had bought her for their two year anniversary shut, and made her way out to the living room, where Matt was sitting wearing those socks he’d stolen from Karen earlier, and a tuxedo with a blue bowtie that matched her dress.

“Can’t believe you went for the tie,” Karen said, “and no waistcoat?”

“Braces!” Matt said, snapping them for emphasis, and looked at Karen, somewhat offended. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

“I can’t believe that you aren’t going to wear a fez,” Karen said, “I’m sure they come in navy. Now come on, we’re going to be late for the wedding!”

Off they went to the chapel, and Matt made funny faces at Arthur as Sophie was walking down the aisle, for which he got a sharp poke in the kidneys from Karen, because he was making stink faces at Matt and Karen thought that it was probably advisable to stop.

“Plus, he could do that at our wedding,” Karen whispered to him as the priest began to talk.

“We’re getting married?” Matt basically couldn’t hide his smile.

“Not if you keep doing stuff like that.”

* * *

 

The suit-jacket goes off about twenty minutes in the to the reception, and she tries to convince him to be classy and keep it on, but it went off for good when Matt dragged Karen out on to the dance floor, because he had the crazy idea that Karen’s dress would be exceptionally twirly, and in all fairness, he was right, because the dress was incredibly fun to twirl in.

The sad/amusing part was that he hadn’t really had that much to drink at that point. But it was definitely more amusing.

The wedding photographer got a picture of the two of them dancing, with Matt dipping Karen down, and they were both in mid-laugh, which Karen would eventually frame and place on their mantelpiece.

The next time they had to go to a wedding, Matt did wear a blue fez. 


	20. Day 20: Dancing

As Karen sat in the A and E, she though to herself, _if Matt ever wants to take me for a waltz around the living room again, we’re going to need to get rid of all the furniture in the flat._

It wasn’t like she hadn’t strongly suggested that they get some of the furniture out of the way, but when Sinatra had started playing on the radio, Matt grabbed Karen and started twirling her around, all objections be damned. To be perfectly honest, that was one of the things she liked about Matt – his incredibly energy and optimism was infectious.

It just had the habit of occasionally getting him hurt.

Karen wasn’t even sure what had happened at first – there was a flurry of flying, gangly limbs (why were they both so damn tall?), and then the bookshelf was rocking curiously and then that vase came down and shattered right on Matt’s head.

If it weren’t so strangely tragic, it would actually have been funny. They were both paralysed by confusion for a second, and then all hell broke loose, and Karen was running around grabbing towels and ice and then she kept freaking out and here they were, at the hospital.

They wheeled him out, and he did look quite banged up with all of the cuts and bandages on his face, but he was still grinning like an idiot.

“He’s got a bit of a concussion,” the nurse said, “so try and wake him every few hours.”

Karen nodded politely, and he got up out of the chair to walk with her back to the car.

“Next time we dance,” Karen said, “will be in a dance studio without bookshelves or anything remotely fragile.”

Matt nodded. “Yup.” 


	21. Day 21: Baking

 “Oh, Jesus.”

“This,” Karen said, as she struggled to mix the glob of brown stuff that might or might not have been batter, “was in a student cookbook, and was therefore supposed to be easy and not result in… this.” She released the spoon and crossed her arms.

“Let me give it a try,” Matt said, and tried to stir the batter, which had thickened to the approximate consistency of concrete. “Okay, we’re going to add some water, because I don’t think that this is stirrable.”

Finally, they managed to get it to a consistency that could be poured in to a cake pan, and it went in to the oven.

Karen breathed a sigh of relief at that.   
“Washing up?” Matt said, and in response, she threw a bit of flour at him.

Of course that started something wonderfully fun but quite messy (they will find flour in the strangest places in their kitchen for weeks) and Karen’s hair was all stripy with red and white.

Out of the oven the cake came, and Matt was all suddenly excited about cake-making, and put the whipped cream that Karen had made on one half of the cake before she had a chance to object.

Then it all slid off, and he looked like a disappointed five-year old.

“That’s why we let things cool, Matt,” Karen said.

He popped a bit in his mouth. “Still tastes good, though.” 


	22. Day 22: In Battle, Side by Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zombie Apocalypse AU. (This story contains elements from AMC’s The Walking Dead and the novel World War Z by Max Brooks.)

They lay, side by side, on the top of the hill, guns cocked and at the ready, looking out over the valley.

“Can you see them?” Matt whispered.

“No,” Karen said. “Dammit, they’re good at hiding.”

“We need to hide. We need to get out of here, and get to shelter. Find some food or something.” Karen rolled to Matt. “Dammit, I’m scared. I can’t believe we got out of London alive with all the walkers.”

He put his hand around her shoulder, a gentle gesture in a series of several days where there was no time for affection, just for pure simple survival and adrenaline.

Before all the cell phone things went down, before everything collapsed, Billie had sent everyone a message saying that they could come to her place, that they would be safe, but the only thing they found were weapons (didn’t even know you could really get those in the UK) and Billie in the process of becoming a walker.

Karen had to kill her because Matt was shaking so hard, and she couldn’t believe how hard she’d turned in the past few weeks, and how badly she wanted to wake up and believe that everything was just a dream, that she hadn’t just murdered someone who had eaten at her dinner table a month ago.

They caught a BBC emergency broadcast that gave them two pieces of information – one, that the army was going to retreat north of the Antonine Wall to regroup, because Scotland wasn’t nearly as infested as the rest of the country, and that there would be a helicopter going out of Chichester, so if they could make it there they had a chance of surviving.

They packed up food and provisions and weapons, and started making their way generally south through the forest surrounding Billie’s home.

That’s when they heard the walkers, and got down, but suddenly the sound died away.

But then Matt rolled over and said, “what’s that?” and Karen could have killed him, because sound attracts them, and he should whisper all the time, and suddenly there was a swarm of them, and all they could do was run.

They were holed up, hiding in someone else’s shed, but there was nothing they could do, because both of them were scared and running on almost empty and hadn’t eaten in days and days and god, they were just two city-slickers, never had to deal with anything so difficult in their lives, so how did they get here?

“Matt,” Karen said, and she felt tears coming, “we don’t stand a fucking chance.”

All he did was reach for her and hug her, because for a couple of minutes at least, that made everything all right. 


	23. Day 23: Arguing

Karen shook her head, and sat down away from Matt on the armchair in their living room.

“I don’t want to,” Karen said. “I want to stay in the UK. There’s plenty of work for both of us here, Matt! There’s no reason to do this complicated move.”

“Kaz, I’ve got two more movies coming that are both going to be shot overseas, and things lined up for more!”

“I don’t.”

Matt nodded, paused briefly, and then continued. “But you could, Kaz. You haven’t auditioned for any American movies since you moved back to the UK.”

She looked up at him, her face contorted with something a lot like anger. “Have you every thought that there’s a reason for that?”

He stepped back, taken by surprise at her sharpness. “Why?”

“Because it isn’t home, Matt. I want to stay here. I want to work for ITV and BBC and do other series and films here. Scotland is my home, Matt.”

“Says the girl who moved to L.A. right after we wrapped on that last episode of Doctor Who,” Matt said.

Karen, who was looking down at her feet, looked up at Matt and narrowed her eyes. “Why do you think I came back?”

“For me,” Matt said, and god, he really, really hoped that he wasn’t wrong.

She put her head in her hands. “You’re not wrong,” she said, quietly. “But it was also because it was fake, and I was a continent and an ocean away from my family and my friends and everything that I cared about, including you. And – “ she stopped herself and looked at Matt with a pained expression.

“What, Kaz?” Matt said, a twinge of worry and desperation in his voice. “What were you going to say?”

“I signed on to a new series.”

Matt looked at Karen, the disbelief evident on his face. “You what?”

“You heard me, Matt. I signed on to a new series. They gave me an offer and I said yes.”

“But… but… Kaz!” He yelled. “We’ve been talking about moving for months! And now you’re committed to staying for what, a year?”

She nodded and grimaced. “I just wanted to force your hand. Maybe you’d consider not moving. And we haven’t looked at houses, or flats. We talked about it in extremely hypothetical terms, and suddenly you think that we are going for sure? I’ve got no job over there, and no desire to leave. Matt, we’re happy here! You can get work in the UK. Why do we need to change everything?”

“Because there’s a whole big world off of this island, and I want to see it and experience it!” He was really screaming now. “And you’ve gone off and ruined it!”

“Goddamn it, Matt!” she screamed back. She stepped away from him, tears in her eyes, and said, much, much quieter, “You don’t have to take me with you, you know that, right?”

He shook his head. “That is not an option for me, Kaz. I love you. You know I do.”

“Then don’t leave.”

“I can’t do that,” Matt said. “I’ve definitely got to go for this next film.”

“Maybe you should stay there.” Kaz turned on her heel and made her way to their bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Matt said, following her.

“I’m going to go home,” she said, grabbing her suitcase out of the closet.

“This is your home,” Matt said.

“Really? Because I think that my name isn’t on the lease. So once you decide to go and swan off to Hollywood and be some kind of movie star, this flat won’t be here anymore, so this isn’t really my home. So I’m heading back up to Bonny Scotland on the next goddamn train I can find.” She started throwing clothes into her suitcase.

“Karen, don’t do this.”

She just looked at him coldly, and continued with what she was doing.

He offered to drive her to the train station, but she politely declined. He watched her go from out of his window, and though every instinct in his body was telling him that he should fight, or that he should do something dramatic and bold, he just stood there and watched her go.

* * *

 

Matt delayed his departure to Los Angeles for a few days so that he could go up to Inverness and see Karen for one last time before he left.

Karen’s dad answered the door, and he looked as though he wasn’t going to let Matt in for a second, but then a voice from behind him said, “Dad, it’s okay. We’re due for a talk anyways.”

Karen’s parents vacated the kitchen with worried whispers as Karen put the kettle on.

“How was the driving?”

“Decent,” he said. “Weather was a bit rubbish around Glasgow but it sorted itself out. How’s being back at home?”

“Fine,” she said, and didn’t add anything like, _I missed you_ or _I want to come back home,_ like he secretly hoped she would.

“When are you off to L.A.?”

“Tuesday,” he said, and he saw her face fall a little, like she’d possibly been hoping that he would have some major revelation and decide not to go. “I can’t get out of this one, Kaz.”

“Are you coming back?” Now she was staring, piercing his soul, and he couldn’t give her anything, not one thing that could possibly console her or save what they had once so happily shared.

“I haven’t figured that out yet,” he said. Their tea was finished in silence.

As he walked out the door, she came after him.

“Do you want to stay the night?”

“I sort of think that I’m persona non-grata here, Kaz,” Matt said, leaning against his car.

She shrugged it off. “I’m worried about you making that drive. It’s getting late, Matt.”

“If I get tired,” he said, “I’ll find a hotel.”

He unlocked his car, got in, slammed the door shut and sped away until she was a little spec in his rear-view mirror.

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24: Making Up

He was an idiot.

Well, so was she.

He was stupid for deciding to make a nine-hour drive on so little sleep. She had seen the dark bags under his eyes when he came up to Inverness to see her; they were an eerie parallel of her own. But she, she felt supremely responsible, because she should have pushed him to stay with her, or at least helped him find somewhere to stay in Inverness if he didn’t want to share a house with his ex-girlfriend.

That felt funny to say.

One of the lights in the hospital in Perth kept flickering on and off, and the nurses at the station down the hall kept giving her worried looks. Her parents were long since gone to the hotel they’d booked, and told her to give them a call when she was ready to join them.

She wouldn’t take them up on that offer, because she wasn’t going to leave, not when none of Matt’s family had made it up yet, not while he was still in surgery, and not while _he was hers and she was his, dammit_ , because she was still hopelessly and insanely in love with him, and she owed him this much.

Were they being a bit unfair to each other when they had that whole conversation about moving? Probably. Was she going to change her mind about the moving thing? Nope. She would stay with him, get him back to being healthy, and if he was still hell-bent on moving to America, she’d drive him to the airport, pass him his suitcase and bid him farewell.

God, she hoped that didn’t happen.

Laura got there first, and collapsed in a chair beside Karen.

“I’m so sorry,” Karen said.

“For what?”

“I should have stopped him, I should have told him to find a hotel in Inverness, I should have done something,” Karen said, “because we wouldn’t be here if I had convinced him.” She could feel the hysteria rising in her voice and tears coming.

“He’s notoriously strong-headed,” Laura said. “You could never have stopped him driving back.”

Karen smiled weakly, and looked down at the ground. “Did he tell you that we…”

“Yeah, he called me after you left. I honestly don’t blame you for anything, whether it’s about the move or his trying to do a nine-hour drive so late at night.” Laura looked at Karen, then put an arm around her shoulder. “He’s going to be okay.”

Karen nodded, sobbed, and put her head on Laura’s shoulder.

* * *

 

He could have sworn that he’d seen the other side.

The sound of screaming tires, car horns, and the bright flash of headlights were the last thing that he could remember before his world faded to black.

“Morning, Mr. Smith,” the nurse said, and then he looked out the window and indeed, there it was, the morning sun shining through his window with a strange cheerfulness. “Had a bit of an accident, you did. Drunk driver along the A9. Nothing fatal, but lots of pain, so you’re going to be on some pretty strong medication for a while.”

Yeah, he couldn’t really feel anything particular, just a dull throbbing, and the nurse’s words sounded like they were being spoken through a tube.

He tried to sit up, but she stopped him. “We’re keeping you prone for the moment. There are some people here who’d like to see you though.”

She disappeared for a few minutes, and then brought back his family, Laura, mom, and dad, and sure, he was happy to see them, but he thought he’d seen a flash of bright red hair in the hallway and were he able to get up, he would investigate further.

His parents and sister sat by him, and spoke to him in hushed tones, and he hopped that he was nodding and trying to smile in all the appropriate moments but his energy was waning.

But, he looked to the side, and there was Karen, leaning against the doorway, looking strung out and exhausted and just so so beautiful.

“Karen,” his mom said, “come grab a chair.”

She did, and sat around with his family and talked with them. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, and he wanted to say all the things he was thinking about as he sped away, like _I decided not to leave without you_ and _I don’t want to go anywhere you aren’t going to be_ , but he was nodding off mid conversation and soon everyone thought it best to leave.

Everyone but Karen.

She pulled her chair up to the head of his bed, and grabbed his hand.

“You’re an idiot for trying to make it back to London.”

He nodded. Not his best idea.

“But you’re my idiot,” she said, and now she was sobbing _oh no stop crying I can’t do anything but I want to make it better,_ “and I will stay with you until you are just as you were before all this. And if you’re still going to go to America and live your movie star dreams, I can’t come with you, but I will support you in every way, I promise. Just think about coming back for me, okay? I love you, Matt. I love you so much.”

He nodded, and then drifted back off to sleep, still holding her hand as tight as he could.

* * *

Her mum had dragged her away from Matt’s bedside, and for the first time in more than a day she changed her clothes, showered, and ate something that didn’t come from a vending machine. It had a decidedly calming effect on her, and when she resumed her position at Matt’s bedside, she was less jarred by the bruises and cuts and stitches than previously.

Over the next few days, they weaned him off the morphine, which was good because he was less of a zombie than right after the accident, and she wanted to talk to him and interact with him, because it would be part of the reassurance she needed that he was still alive and with her.

He had figured out how to make the bed move so that he could sit up, which was significantly easier than trying to do it himself, and late that night, while Karen was enjoying her Costa sandwich and Matt was struggling through his hospital issue meal, he turned and asked her, “Why are you still here?”

“Because I love you, Matt.” Plain and simple. “And I don’t anticipate that changing any time soon.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “for screwing everything up.”

“You didn’t screw everything up.” She paused, and shook her head. “Well, you did a little. But I forgive you, Matt, because I can’t be angry at you for more than about twenty minutes at a time.”

“I’m not moving to America.”

Well, this was news. “Why not?”

“Because you won’t come with me,” he said.

“Matt, you don’t have to that…”

“No,” he said, “I do. Being close to death makes you reconsider some things, and one of the things that I have decided on quite firmly is that I am in this for the long haul, and that the only way that I will continue is if I’ve got you, because life is less fun without my mad ginger.”

“Matt,” she said, and there she was, keeping with the theme of the last few days and crying a little, because he was making her have _feelings_ like no one else ever could, and she just wanted him to get better and get out of this damn hospital so that they could go on with the business of making their lives together. “Yeah. Me too. I need a little bit of clumsy giraffe in my life as well.”

“Sounds like we’ve got it sorted.”

“I do believe we have, Mr. Smith.” 


	25. Day 25: Looking into Each Others' Eyes

“Matt,” Karen said, while sitting on the couch beside him with her head on his shoulder and his arm around hers, “if we were to ever have a hypothetical Smith and Gillan baby, would it look more like you or like me?”

“Are you inviting me to impregnate you, Karen?”

She laughed. “I wouldn’t inflict your face on anyone, so maybe never mind.”

He was a little mock offended at that, and then looked at Karen, and suddenly a ginger-haired toddler with bright green eyes and her mother’s brilliant smile appeared in his head, and then a great hope for the future came over him.

Karen smiled a little and cocked her head at him. “What are you thinking, Matt?”

“Oh, I’m just imagining. Don’t mind me.”

He kissed her on the forehead and pulled her a little closer. 


	26. Day 26: Getting Married

Was she the marrying kind?

Karen had never thought so, but as her mother fussed over her dress and flowers and thing that they had put in her hair, she thought, _well, perhaps I was just waiting for the right person._

Her hands were shaking a little, and then the wedding planner stuck her head in to the little room where Karen was sitting and told her that it was time to go. She grabbed her bouquet, and reminded herself to breathe, and that everything was going to be fine, and Matt was probably going to faint or something in the middle of the ceremonies so they could be anxious and fretting together.

The ‘together’ part was what appealed to her most, which probably explained why she was where she was in the first place.

Her dad was there, smiling through his tears, and she had to forcibly keep herself from crying. He hugged her, and they stood there together waiting to walk down the aisle, and as patriarchal as the whole ‘giving away the bride’ thing was, the moment was tender and intimate and altogether wonderful.

The organ struck up the Bridal Chorus, and everyone in the room was staring at her, which shouldn’t have made her nervous but did, but then she got a good look at Matt, and nearly fell over laughing.

He was wearing a kilt. Of course he was wearing a kilt, the ridiculous bastard, and it made her so happy she had to wipe tears from her eyes. She did remember him offering to make up the fact that the wedding was going to be Northampton to her, which was weird because she really didn’t care where she was going to get married, she just wanted to marry him.

She got to the altar and there he was, smiling shyly as if he was seeking her approval. “You look quite handsome in that kilt,” she whispered to him. “I’m amazed it took you so long to get around to wearing one.”

He leaned over her as if he was about to say something, but then the priest launched in to his priest-y thing and they both had to stop talking. During the ceremony though, Karen caught Matt giving her all these little private smiles, and she blushed a little.

Finally though, it came to their moment, and the priest asked, “Matthew Robert Smith, do you take Karen Sheila Gillan as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” he said, not taking her eyes off her.

“Karen Sheila Gillan, do you take Matthew Robert Smith as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” she said.

Matt started going in for the kiss but the priest gently tapped him on the shoulder to stop him, much to the delight of their audience. “I now pronounce you man and wife,” he said, and then continued, “Now, you may kiss the bride.”

And goodness gracious, Karen thought, did he ever. She swore that she heard Arthur wolf-whistle, but she didn’t really care, because Matt was her husband now, and the only person she would ever kiss like this, and she liked the fireworks that exploded inside of her brain whenever they kissed, and she never wanted them to stop.

They made their way down the aisle in a shower of confetti and bubbles, and made their way to the large tent on the grounds of the church where the reception was to take place.

The whole evening seemed to pass by in a blur, with lots of dancing and champagne and Arthur saying incredibly embarrassing things in his best man’s speech about their time on _Who_ that Karen barely remembered but were funny nonetheless, Caitlin catching her bouquet at the tender age of fifteen, and dancing with Matt for the first time as an officially married couple which was beautiful, and trying to navigate ceilidh dancing in her dress (albeit somewhat unsuccessfully).

The best part, though, was when all of the guests save for both pairs of parents had left, and they could go out and dance in bare feet in the early morning light behind the tent.

“Good morning, Mrs. Smith,” he said, twirling her around and then pulling her close.

“And how are you, Mr. Smith?” she said, smiling coquettishly. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all day.”

“You’re right,” Matt said, “though we’ve been standing right beside each other.” He kissed her, sweet and slow, and then said, “I haven’t even had a chance to tell you how beautiful you looked tonight.”

“Why thank you,” she said. “And you look quite dashing in your kilt, though I understand your disappointment that it leaves no space for braces.”

He smiled, took a couple paces back, and pretended to do a little Highland dancing, and Karen double over with laughter.  
“Stop,” she said, between peals of laughter, “before you slip on the grass, because I am not spending my wedding night in A and E.”

“You’re right, you’re not. I have plans, trust me.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

At that moment, Matt’s mom poked her head outside and told them that it was time to go home, and Matt, Karen, and both sets of parents waved the two of them off to the B and B where they would be staying.

Much, much later in the morning, after they had enjoined in some traditional wedding-night/morning activities, they lay beside each other in bed, Matt on his back and Karen curled up against his side, watching sunbeams filter in through the drapes on the window.

“I love you, Kaz,” he said, “and I am excited about the future.”

“Me too, Matt. Me too.”

 

 

 


	27. Day 27: On One of their Birthdays

When she got home from shooting in Hyde Park today, he would be gone, and she would be sad.

Rationally, Karen knew that they didn’t have a whole lot of control over their shooting schedules, but it sort of sucked that he had to jet off to Egypt for his new series for a week that also happened to contain her twenty-eighth birthday. She just really wanted him around.

The four months since her wedding had been eventful with filming and such, and then Arthur and Sophie had their first baby, Jenna and Richard tied the knot, and when she and Matt had finally managed to get on their Italian honeymoon in early September, they had to cut it short because her mother had a second, fatal heart attack, this time in Sainsburys. There was also about a week where she thought that she was pregnant, something that was quickly dispelled by her doctor. It wasn’t that it wouldn’t be excellent and wonderful, but the thought of having a child really freaked her out.

Anyways, she felt tired and a little sad, deep down in her soul, and though she and Matt were having a small party on the weekend, she really wished that she had bigger and greater plans on her birthday than Indian takeout and catching up on _Downton Abbey_ , even if the extent of the plans was Indian takeout and Downton with Matt.

All the lights were off in the flat, save for the glow of one lamp from the living room that Karen had sworn she’d turned off when she left that morning, and did she smell Indian food?...

“Jesus!” she yelled when she saw Matt just sitting there on the couch, smiling beatifically, with Indian takeout painstakingly arranged on their coffee table.  “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Hello Kazza, I’m terribly happy to see you as well, and I’m sure that you’re just chomping at the bit to know how I got back from El-Alamein so quickly.”

“Well, I am,” Karen said, “I just have to get over the shock of your appearance.” She pulled off her shoes and coat and sat herself down on the couch beside him. “Alright, do tell. Have you or have you not acquired a real-life TARDIS?”

He shook his head. “If only. The simple fact is that we finished shooting early, and there was standby space on a flight out. That, and I really didn’t want to miss your birthday, and I was probably going to try and worm out of filming and come back anyways.”

“I’m touched, Matt,” she said. “Thank you so much.” She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head.

“Anything for my Kaz.”

“No, I mean it,” she said, “with all the stuff with my mum and the fake pregnancy… I’m just tired, Matt. And you give me so much strength, and I need that right now. By the way, those flowers are lovely,” she said, gesticulating in the general direction of the no-longer empty vase on their bookshelf.

“I’ve got something else,” he said, and grabbed a gift bag off the coffee table beside him.

“You didn’t have to,” she said.

“Yeah, I did.”

She unwrapped the present gingerly, and in keeping with etiquette, she read the card first, smiled at the stick-figure comic of the two of them that was drawn therein, and then opened the accompanying box and saw the beautiful diamond necklace she had (conspicuously, apparently) ogled when they last went shopping together. “You’re amazing,” she said.

“I know.”

Despite his cockiness, she still pulled him in for a kiss, and then hands were going sensitive places, and he looked up at her and said, “Aren’t there going-ons with the Granthams and Indian food for us?”

“Netflix isn’t going anywhere,” she whispered in his ear, “and I do believe we own a microwave, do we not?”

“You’re right,” he said, and pulled her in for another kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	28. Day 28: Doing Something Ridiculous

So, there was actual, proper snow, like what you might get in America, which made Matt as excited as a four-year old when presented with candy. (He usually got pretty excited about candy too, but he reserved particular euphoria for snow.)

All of London was pretty much shut down, so he and Karen bundled up as warmly as possible and made their way out on to the wintry streets.

They made it about three hundred meters from the apartment when he got an excellent idea – they should build a snowman.

Karen was sceptical, as she was, seeing as she usually played the straight man (woman?) to his goofiness, but he wore her down (as he usually did).

Of course, making their snowman soon gave way to the most exciting snowball fight that London had probably ever seen, and Matt had incomparably better aim than Karen, so of course he won and she ended up soaking wet as they made their way back to their flat.

She was shivering and her lips were a little blue by the time they got back home, but she was smiling a little devilishly at him and that intrigued him.

“I challenge you,” she said, “to warm me back up again.”

Oh, challenge most definitely accepted. 


	29. Day 29: Doing Something Sweet

 

Karen loved roses, Matt remembered as he walked by the flower stand on his way from a script reading, and he hadn’t bought them for her in a long time.

He made his way home from his little detour and was surprised to see Karen sitting on the couch, a wastebasket close at hand.

“I got sent home,” she said, looking up at him somewhat pitifully, “because I was violently ill today on set. Probably good that I’m here, because I’ve been so tired that I’m literally useless at work anyhow.”

“Fair,” Matt said, and waved the roses at her.

“You are actually the greatest.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, and made his way out to the kitchen to put the flowers in water, and while he was out there a thought occurred to him.

He placed the roses on the coffee table and sat down beside Karen. “Kaz,” he said, cautiously, “could you possibly be…” he trailed off, looked over at her, and she suddenly intuited how that sentence was going to end.

“Maybe,” she said. “I’ve considered it, but all of this happened last time too, and remember how that turned out?”

“Yeah,” he said. “You’re more tired than last time, though. That’s supposed to be a symptom.”

She nodded, and then paused, doing some arithmetic on her fingers, then got up suddenly. “Shit, how late is Boots open? I might need you to go get me a pregnancy test.” 

Matt looked at his watch. “The one down the road is 24 hours. Why the sudden urge to know?”

“Because I’m late,” she said. “Later than last time. And I didn’t take a test last time – I just freaked out because my period was a week later than normal, and went to the doctor and she said it was because of stress. But now, now I’m less sure. And it’s not like we’ve been actively not trying.”

“Okay,” Matt said, trying his best to keep his composure. “I’ll go to Boots, you ready yourself to… pee.”

He sprinted out the door and down the street, and totally ignored the wide-eyed look he got from the teenage cashier (who was a major Whovian and had requested his and Karen’s autographs the first day she worked there and they came in to buy shampoo), but secretly he really hoped that she wouldn’t post something about it on Tumblr or whatever.

He made his way back to their flat, and she’d polished off two glasses of water in the fifteen minutes he’d been gone.

“You ready?” he asked.

She nodded.

He wasn’t actually in the bathroom while she took the test, but he sat with her on the marble floor of their bathroom while they waited for the results.

And then… two little pink lines, and Matt was hugging her and crying a little, and so was Karen, and he was shaking with excitement and happiness and a little fear for good measure, and he looked at Karen and said, “You ready for this?”

She nodded. “I cannot wait.” 


	30. Day 30: Doing something hot

A few days later, they went for a doctor’s visit, and then a few days after that, they saw the OB/GYN for the first time, and on the way home from there they bought all the baby books they could get at WH Smith, mercifully avoiding the paparazzi during the whole adventure.

Matt made dinner, and Karen read, and imparted the bits of knowledge that she acquired to him over spaghetti bolognaise and garlic bread.

Later, they were curled up against each other on the couch and Matt said, “You’re glowing,” and began gently kissing her neck and jaw.

“Mhmmm,” she hummed, and then said, “I’m what, five weeks along? I don’t think that happens this early.”

“Oh, it does,” Matt said. “You look like a full moon.”

“Oi,” Karen said, with a mock offended face, “if you’re trying to proposition me, you need to not compare me to the moon.”

“I apologise,” Matt said, and then kissed her. He bit her lip and he moaned in to his mouth, and he took the opportunity to run his tongue across the roof of her mouth. His hands weren’t idle as they slipped under the t-shirt she was wearing and rubbed small circles on her lower back. She arched in to him, and he groaned her name against her lips, and then to her great consternation, pulled away.

“Kaz,” he said, breathless, “will we hurt the baby if we…”

She shook her head. “There are certain things they don’t recommend, but it’s not things that we do anyways. After that, it’s all about comfort and how the hormones are affecting things.”

He nodded. “And what do the hormones say?”

“Go for it.”

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her to the bedroom, gently laying her down on their bed.

“God, I want you so bad right now,” he said between kisses along her collarbone.

“That’s normal,” she said, her breath hitching every time his lips made contact with his skin. “You’re excited because your virility has just been proved. Hooray on completing your biological purpose.”

“Oh goody,” he said, and pulled her shirt off. “I think we’re about to do it again.”

She smiled as he kissed his way down her neck, then he slipped her bra off and she arched off the bed as he took one of her nipples in his mouth. She threaded her hands through his hair as he kissed down her stomach.

“Hello baby,” he whispered.

“Oh my god, not now.”

He rolled his eyes at her, but still shimmied her jeans and underwear off of her legs, and she knew what was coming and that if anything was true of Matt, he had an exceptionally talented tongue and very, very long fingers.

She was constantly having impure thoughts about his fingers. That probably explained to a large degree why she was… impregnated. Oh dear.

But then there was no thinking to be done, because his tongue was on her clit and his fingers were _precisely_ where he needed them, and oops, sorry that was my heel digging in to your back but you totally deserved that because JESUS, Matt, you’re good at that, and then she was arching off the bed and collapsing like all of her strings were cut, and because he was basically the most adorable human being in the world, he made his way back up beside her and gently kissed her face until she became a functioning human being again.

Karen got a wicked smile on her face then, and realised that Matt was still fully clothed, which was clearly not an appropriate level of dress for what was about to come. She undid his belt buckle, pulled down his pants and trousers with breaking eye contact or her smile.

“Kaz,” he said, breathily and with a somewhat frantic look, “you really don’t have to…”

“Your turn,” she said, and then dipped her head down and took him in her mouth.

She kept shooting him these disingenuously innocent looks, which was a bit stupid seeing as she was giving him a blowjob and about the least innocent thing possible, but she loved seeing his eyes go dark, and that gentle sheen of sweat appear across his brow, and his head dropping back, and something about the way that he would thread his fingers through her hair but would never pull on it was exceptionally sweet and hot.

She could feel was close to coming, and she (and therefore, by extension, he) had better ideas as to what could happen next, so she stopped (he groaned) and then she helped him out of his t-shirt, then lay down beside him on the bed. He rolled on top of her, braced his arms on either side of her head, kissed her gently, and then slipped inside of her.

She bent one of her legs back, and then the other, and wrapped them around Matt’s waist as he started to thrust, slowly and languidly, which wasn’t a terrifically easy proposition for him based on all the choked off noises he was making, and Karen tried to focus herself on the way that all of Matt was basically a furnace, burning up inside of her and everywhere their skin touched, and how she was going to leave a whole bunch of wonderful red marks on his skin because her nails were digging in to his back _hard._ He was hitting that place inside of her with every thrust, and then quite suddenly she was coming hard, crying out a combination of Matt’s name and expletives, and then she felt him come as well, and then he collapsed on top of her, and then rolled off to one side and spooned against her. Well, he did try his best to be a cuddler, but she knew how boneless and sloppy he could get after he came.

“Love you, Kaz,” he managed to say, and she could hear him falling asleep.

“I love you too, Matt.” 


End file.
